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Monday, 7 October 2013

How To Repair A Damaged/Broken Relationship Through The Word of God

Scripture:  Matthew 18:15-20
15 "If your brother sins against you, go and tell him his fault, between you and  him alone. If he listens to you, you have gained your brother. 16 But if he does not listen, take one or two others along with you, that every word may be confirmed by the evidence of two or three witnesses. 17 If he refuses to listen to them, tell it to the church; and  if  he refuses to listen even to the church, let him be to you as a Gentile and a tax collector. 18 Truly, I say to you, whatever you bind on earth shall be bound in heaven, and whatever you loose on earth shall be loosed in heaven. 19 Again I say to you, if two of you agree on earth about anything they ask, it will be done for them by my Father in heaven. 20 For where two or three are gathered in my name, there am I in the midst of them."

Meditation: What's the best way to mend a broken relationship? Jesus gives his disciples spiritual freedom and authority for repairing damaged or wounded relationships. Jesus makes it well- defined to his followers that breach in relationships among themselves should not be tolerated. Sin must be dealt with and help must be offered to restore a damaged relationship. When relationships between sisters and brothers in the Lord are broken, then we must leave no leaf unturned and help the sister or brother at fault to see their mistake and to get things right again. This is not the time to take side or blame anyone, we need to love and let our words of encouragement be just.

 Explanations on Jesus' teaching:

If someone has done you wrong and they have really hurt you, what must be done? We have heard the answer already in today’s scripture: “If your brother sins against you go and tell him his fault, between you and him alone.”(Please report him or her to himself first, don’t go and report him to someone else) If you fail to do so, you are worse than he/her is.  Yes, we agreed your brother has hurt somebody, and by doing so he has stricken himself with a grievous wound. Will you then totally neglect your brother’s or sister’s wound? Will you basically watch him stumble and fall down? Will you neglect his/her struggle? If so, you are worse in your silence than he in his ill-mannered or abuse toward you. Therefore, when any one sins against us, let us take great care, but not only for ourselves. For it is a glorious thing to forget injuries. Just set aside your own hurt, but do not disregard your brother’s wound.  Remember what the bible said in the book of Hebrew 4 vs. 15, For we do not have a high Priest who cannot sympathize with our weaknesses, but was in all points tempted as we are, yet without sin. Therefore “go and tell him/her his fault, between you and him/her alone,” determined upon his change but sparing his sense of shame. For it might happen that through defensiveness he will begin to vindicate his sin, and so you would have unintentionally pushed him still closer toward the very behaviour you want to correct.  Proverb 18 vs. 24 says, there are friends who destroy each other, but a real friend sticks closer than a brother.  And so “tell him his fault between you and him alone. If he listens to you, you have gained your brother,” because he might have been lost, had you not spoken with him.

What can we gather from this passage?
1). If you know you have been offended by someone, Jesus says the first step is to speak directly but privately to the individual who has offended you.
2). One of the worst things we should not do is never to dwell over our grievance because it can poison our mind and soul and make it more challenging to go directly to the person who offended us.
3). If we really want to resolve a difference with someone, we need to do it face to face. If this method fails in its purpose, then the second step is to bring one more persons who are wise and gracious rather than someone who is quick-tempered or hypercritical. The reason for taking these steps is not to make the offender life miserable, but to convince the offender to see the mistaken, accept it and say sorry.
4). If the above steps fail, then we need not to give up, but try to find help of the Christian community. Note, the emphasis here is on repairing a damaged relationship by seeking the help of other Christians who hopefully will pray and find a solution for settlement based on Christian love and wisdom, rather than depend on intimidating force or warning of legal action, such as a lawsuit.
5). if even the Christian community fails to bring about compromise, what must we do? Jesus gives us the impression that we have the right to abandon stubborn and stiff-necked offenders and treat them like outcasts.  For example the Tax-collectors and Gentiles were regarded as "unclean" 2000 years ago by the religious-minded Jews. However we know from the bible explanations that Jesus repeatedly had fellowship with tax-collectors, ate with them, and even praised them at times! Our Lord, Jesus Christ refuses no one who is ready to receive forgiveness, healing, and restoration. The call to accountability is certain and we can't escape it, both in this life and at the Day of Judgment when the Lord Jesus will return. But while we have the opportunity, we must not give up on stubborn offenders, but, instead make every determination to win them with the grace and power of God's love and wisdom.

Can you put up with damaged relationships or do you seek to repair them as God gives you the opportunity to repair and restore what is damaged?

Lord Jesus, make us a channel of your love and peace. Give us understanding and confidence to bring your love and saving truth to individuals in need of restoration and healing in Jesus name. Amen
Psalm 66:1-5
1 Make a joyful noise to God, all the earth;
2 sing the glory of his name; give to him glorious praise!
3 Say to God, "How awesome are your deeds! So great is your power that your enemies cringe before you.
4 All the earth worships you; they sing praises to you, sing praises to your name." [Selah]
5 Come and see what God has done: he is awesome in his deeds among men.





  1. Is not easy but with love yep we can forgive and forget

  2. Wise word can heal our emotional wounds