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Wednesday, 13 November 2013

AMS Stories: If I’m really “beautiful and wonderfully made” then why am I still single?

 

 As women, we were all created with a desire to be desired. Little girls often put on pink dresses spin in front of their father’s and ask, “Daddy am I beautiful?” or "don't me looking lovely"? This part of us–the part where we long to be chosen and found–can feel like a curse sometimes. But I still need to wait for my time.

When I was 18, I met this guy who was a year older (19).  He was Tall, Dark or Chocolate complexion, brownish/dark eyes, and black hair. I’m thinking along the lines of SEAL (The British R&B Singer) in terms of describing his physical appearance.  He was “fine” to me and new in the neighbourhood. At that time he was still living in his parent's house, I used to walk past this house everyday just to get a glimpse of the cute new boy on the block.  One day I walked by and he decided to say something to me………………………and we started hanging out after that which led to him becoming my boyfriend. J J J


There’s this emptiness about my relationship with this boy (who I’ll call K), I don’t know what went wrong  and I don’t know what was wrong with me back then but I had no idea how to show my “affection”.  I was really awkward, it's like -I like you but please don’t come closer. I am a Christian and I have rules, holding hands was enough for me, no kissing and no touching, I would always provoke him.

 
 
I do really like him but I also wanted to respect myself because there are lot of girls my age already pregnant with no one responsible for the pregnancy. Coupled with the fact that if I do anything stupid my sister will send me parking and where do I want to go? I am an orphan. The relationship only lasted for a month because he wanted what I don’t want. We broke up and he said to me
 
 “Ma’im (Mariam) you are beautiful but you are not the one for me because you don’t have a pedigree".
 
I was speechless; however, I thank God he walked away because God knows he was not the right man, the right time and the right family for me. Well, the question is, if I was really beautiful as K said why did he decide to end our relationship just like that or is it because of sex, my family background, and character?  From this point, I started having trust issues about men but not in general.


I know what it feels like to be told by friends, “If I was a guy, I would be totally into you”. It’s not helpful, is it? If I’m really “beautiful and wonderfully made” then why aren't men asking me out lately? As a single lady these talks often made me feel worse because I didn’t want male friends dishing out compliments. I just wanted to be found by one man. I wanted someone with a God fearing heart to find my ingenuity charming and who thought my singing voice is endearing. Have you ever felt this way before? Like SHOUTING in your room on Friday night “for goodness sakes WHERE ARE ALL THE MEN!”? I mean real men J

 
 
For all the single ladies out there........You must appreciate that longing to be loved and chosen by a man is a normal feeling. You are not desperate or useless. However, it is vital to make sense of this aspect of who we are because it can lead to unhealthy places. You know what I’m talking about……. Unhealthy places like sexual immorality, I don’t care attitude (bad hair day) and pretending to be someone you’re not. Just wait for your time, we are next in line.
 
The good news today is I cannot promise you a date because I am also in your shoe. But I can share with you that you are desired by the King of kings, your maker, the almighty God who calls you by name. He desires to be in a relationship with you–to know the good, the bad, and even the peculiar parts of you. He loves that you have bad breath in the morning, can’t go a day without eating fatty food, and have no shame singing at the top of your lungs. For today, let that be enough. 
 
 
Please do not copy or share my story without permission
 
 
Write your comment(s) below

14 comments:

  1. Of course God loves us all

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  2. Those that wait upon the Lord will never be put to shame

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  3. thank for the testmony. very inspiring. indeed we are bought w the prize...the blood of Jesus. thats is our vakue..our prize tag..our bodies has become his living terbanscle chosen by himself to show praises unto him who has called me out of darkeness into his marvelight. yes im soecial n uniwue n fearfully n wondergully made by him. whatever the Lord Jesus desire for me..i take it as best for me, do despite my normal feelings i choose to leave by His word n wait when he brings or orders that man into "my life". all i do is...believing n trusting His word n plan for me. the inner beauty will reflect the outer beauty. ...so true what uv said above...inner beauty is so important. you could be the most beautiful girl on earth with a repulsive attitude that push every guy n people away....

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  4. Nice piece here dear, Sure Delay is not Denial, God,s time is d best

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  5. Yes I totally agree our longing to be loved is a normal feeling

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  6. You have faith that God's time is the best, God has a plan for those who wait for him.

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