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Saturday, 1 February 2014

AMS Love Stories: Broken heart – Why doesn't he love me?

If there was one difficult THING in life I wish I could solve, it would be RELATIONSHIP PROBLEM: Broken heart – It hurt, sore, lonely and it takes time to recover from it.

I've had my heart broken a few times both by male and female friends, and every time I think, somebody has to know how to make this pain go away. Maybe I just don't know how to make friend and be in a relationship. Maybe my sisters and brother can give me some insight that will make it all better, and I'll never feel this pain again. But that never happens. You just hurt, and there doesn't seem to be anything you can do about it than to move on.

I was crazy about this guy, but he thought he was too old for me. There were only a couple of years between us, but in his mind, I was just a kid. No matter what I did, he just had no interest in me. When I would flirt with him, he didn't even seem to notice. That's the worst! I mean, at least roll your eyes or something. Don't pretend I don't exist!

I must confess I don't really like fine or handsome guy, I like guys that could be refine along the way. Let me simply put it this way, I like Christian rugged guys but not dirty.
I remember telling my friends, Mrs A that, "This guy doesn't like me at all and I don't get it." She'd say, "There's something wrong with him." That was easy for her to say, but I couldn't help but feel like there was something wrong with me.

I'd see him talking to another girl and I'd think, Maybe if I dressed like her. … So I bought different clothes, but he still didn't notice me.
Finally, like five months later, I thought, You know what? There's no hope. Have some pride, girl. And I finally just let go. Hmmm!

He wanted us to be friends, but I didn't even want to do that. How can you be my friend if we don’t see eyes to eyes I thought? I couldn't stand the pain of seeing him and knowing that he would never give me that chance to be something more than a friend.

It was awful. I felt like I'd been hit in the stomach. The heartache actually broke my spirit. I wasn't happy and cheerful and giggly anymore.
My sisters found out I was madly in love with this guy and they told me to invite him over for Christmas dinner, he honour my invitation but I knew the spark was not there during the family discussion and his mind was not even in the conversation.

The reason I was so much attached to this guy was because we are family friends and his mum was really nice to my family. I love this guy since I was in secondary school but it was a shame that he only sees me as his younger sister not a girlfriend.

I was heartbroken, as I prayed and cried about how stupid I felt; I realized that nothing could really mend my broken heart except God. And the great thing is, God brought people into my life to get my mind off this guy. My friends helped me, we go out to have fun and not care about what anybody else thought. Most of all, I spent more time with God and his Word, and he really started to heal my heart. I can't explain it, but it was incredible to see and feel God working in my life, comforting me through his presence.

In 2007, this guy called me and asked me out but that was after he broke another girl’s heart in Nigeria. I thought oh no, I don’t want to mingle with heartbreaker. I did try to make it work but I guess as I was doing some growing up my preference is changing and the crazy in love thing has been throwing out of the window. I once gave him my heart but he gave his away to some chicks.

Therefore, to save me from sleepless night, pain and tears, I promise myself I'll give it to someone special because once bitten ……..

I view this as the most challenging experience of my life. I was disappointed, heartbroken, angry, and insecure. But one thing's for sure—I wouldn't want to try my next relationship without God.  

The best thing in life comes to those that wait! 

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