Do you ever feel like nobody likes you? I feel that way sometimes, too. I think it's natural to want people to like you. I mean, who doesn't want friends? But I struggle with wanting everyone to like me. And when they don't, it's easy for me to feel bad about myself.
When I was in primary school, primary six to be precise, I used to have this big group of friends, and in that group, there's one boy who hangs out mostly with the girls. Now I was raised with sisters, and I usually feel more comfortable hanging around with girls than with boys. And most of the time, girls feel comfortable hanging out with me, too. So I was starting to feel kind of hurt that the girls were hanging out with this guy and not with me because I kind of think, I am brilliant, nice, cool and fun to be with.
One day, it really started to bother me. I crawled in my bed and just started crying. I was like, "What's wrong with me? Why doesn't everyone want to be around me? Am I just not good enough? Am I just not likable?" I came up with all these reasons why people wouldn't want to hang out with me as much as I want. For instance, I have a strong personality, and I can be very passionate. I'm also very open, and I'll say what's on my mind. That's not always the best thing. Openness is good, but sometimes I'd be better off keeping my mouth shut. I figured if I changed my personality, people might like me better.
The day after my crying session, I decided I would try to be sweet and quiet—to be the girl everyone would love. But that just wasn't me. Something is not right, And I thought, this is nonsense. It finally came to me that this whole thing wasn't about me. People want to be with who they want to be with and I can’t force people to be with me all the time. Those girlfriends of mine weren't choosing to not be around me. They didn't hate me. They were just hanging out with another person. That's the way life works and that’s the way it goes.
I guess what I've learned is that not everyone is going to love me. Not everyone is going to want to be around me all the time. It doesn't mean there's anything wrong with me. And it doesn't mean there's anything wrong with them. People are just different. Sure there are things about me that I need to work on. But I don't have to try to be everyone's best friend. I only need to be the person God made me to be.
If you are someone like me, all I can say is, please stop beating and condemning yourself, God created you and love you just the way you are. However, if you are too open and abrupt just like me, you might need to bridle your tongue at times. See what the word of God says in the book of first Timothy 2:9-15- Likewise also that women should adorn themselves in respectable apparel, with modesty and self-control, not with braided hair and gold or pearls or costly attire, but with what is proper for women who profess godliness—with good works………
Yes, self-control is the key. I only need to be the person God has made me to be by controlling myself (mouth, thought and action) through the help of the Holy-spirit. Yes, myself because in Christ I live, move and have my being. My life should be Christ like.
May God help us all and have a nice day!